Friday, October 17, 2008

One Foot in Front of the Other

Today was Seth's celebration service. It was incredibly beautiful and emotional. Each song, picture, tribute and message was touching. Tears and hugs abounded. Randy gave a sweet tribute through tears. Beth put together a beautiful slide show that included all of us who got to hold Seth in his last days on earth. April and Jillian sang an incredible version of "Glory Baby" a song written and recorded by Watermark. Pastor Glenn gave a lovely message about the significance of Seth's life in six short months. It was awesome. There was food. There was fellowship. There were flowers. There was a lot of love floating around.

Now I'm toast. I know Kathryn is, too. The finality and the exhaustion are taking it's toll. There have been too many days of just trying to suck it up and get through it all. Now there's nothing left to do. Seth has a perfect home and the rest of us are stuck in a broken one.

Pastor Glenn keeps whispering, "One foot in front of the other". I've been doing that all week, but the steps are getting smaller and with less conviction. I'm not sure I could even walk to the mailbox right now, and I can only imagine how Kathryn and Leland are feeling. I know tomorrow is a new day and God will give me strength for whatever that day brings. For today, I can only sit and stare and miss Seth and Brandon.

I know, I know. "One foot in front of the other". Maybe tomorrow.


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