Friday, October 10, 2008

Some Perspective

For those of you who read my most recent blog post and are wondering where it went, I have chosen to delete it, not because I necessarily feel any differently or have a need to defend the feelings behind the words, but because wisdom prevails and Pastor Glenn said much the same thing without the bite on his blog (see Link on my Blog List to the right). I recognize that because of my closeness to Kathryn and Leland's situation as well as my history, I am probably more defensive on their behalf than I should be. They are doing very well and don't need me to fight their battles for them.

For those who know them, I do continue to ask that each of us be sensitive when we talk to them, to guard our words and our actions so as not to cause them any added pain. They are making life's hardest decisions and they only need God's help to do so. They don't need our advice, only our presence.

Keith and I continue to find our time with Kathryn, Leland and Seth a blessing. They continue to trust God in all things. God truly has given them grace for each moment. Please continue to pray for the whole family as each day brings a new challenge. And God is the strength they need to meet each of those challenges.


At October 11, 2008 at 6:14 AM , Blogger Chaffin Family said...

GOD IS GOOD. Thanks for your honesty.

At October 11, 2008 at 11:27 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Cathey:

You know it is cold when your dog will not get out of bed! He is snuggled deep within the comforter for warmth, protection and the feeling of closeness.

I read you blog before you deleted it and I could not respond as my Irish temper was flaring as I was reading about the insensitivity of others towards Kathryn and Leland. I have prayed since I read it and this a.m. I am able to respond.

No one knows what Kathryn and Leland are going through. The decision they made had to be difficult. I don’t know what it is to have a child, let alone to make the decision for God to intervene and take Seth when He feels it is time. Yes, I have had to make the decision when my mom was dying. It is not easy by any means for and adult or your infant son. I can only imagine it is more difficult to let you child go as that isn’t the way life is suppose to work. Children are supposed to outlive their parents. That is how the world sees it-- that is not always what God wants.

We live in a broken world. We are all broken whether we know it or not, whether we are willing to admit it or not. Seth will not have to suffer living in this broken world, but when it is God’s time, Seth will share in the fullest of God’s love.

Yes, sometimes people’s intentions are good as Glenn said, but sometimes those intentions, opinions, know it all’s, etc, can be a further burden to others and that sounds like what has happened to Kathryn and Leland. Kathryn and Leland have listened to God, prayed over and over and now especially they need their time with Seth, their family and close friends. They need to be surrounded by people who truly care and love them. Sometimes that means just having someone near, for ones presence can mean more than words that are spoken.

You and Keith have been a great support. It is only natural that you feel as you do. You were protecting your friends because you love them, you don’t want them hurting any more. You and Keith are also hurting; it brings back memories, you see what Kathryn and Leland are going through and probably are one of the closest if not the closest friends they have. So it is only natural you want to protect them from further hurt. Do not put your self down; do not condemn yourself for what you feel or wrote. Self condemnation is not good and you were and are just being a good and faithful friend.

Just as my dog felt the warmth, protection and closeness snuggled into the comforter this morning, I pray the Kathryn, Leland, Seth, you and Keith feel the same thing but much more--covered in the blanket of God’s love. You all have stood firm in your faith that God is the answer in every need. He is our comfort and our hope; He is our unfailing love and will always be with us in times of joy and sorrow. You are doing well Cathey. You are doing what God is leading you to do and that is to be yourself.

Give Kathryn and Leland a hug for me and little Seth too.

My prayers always.

At October 11, 2008 at 12:25 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you followed what I wrote on my blog you know I re-edited it about 3 or 4 times to get it clear enough to where I could live with it. Trying to send messages to certain people in a public forum just doesn't work. Blogs are not the way to do it. However if we can say things that are helpful to a larger group of those who are wrestling with similar issues -- then it is worthwhile. I think.

At October 11, 2008 at 12:34 PM , Blogger Cathey said...

Jean - thanks for your kind words of encouragement. It was not my intention to incite anger since I had plenty of my own, but thankfully others are able to recognize I felt I was speaking truth that needed to be said, perhaps not as harshly as I said it. Although K & L are standing firm, sometimes they don't have the energy to tell people when they need a break. If my rant didn't accomplish anything more than helping them realize they can NOT answer every phone call and NOT allow every visit, then I guess God used it as I intended. Thanks for continuing to hold us all up in prayer - I can feel the love!

It's tempting to stay snuggled in bed like your puppy! The mornings are COLD!!!!

At October 11, 2008 at 12:38 PM , Blogger Cathey said...

Glenn - thank you, too, for being a wonderful pastor who knows just how to handle situations like these. Your wisdom and incites are very helpful and I think the message you conveyed had the more positive and loving tone that I wanted to have but didn't.


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